My Thoughts On the 2024 Election

TRIGGER WARNING : SA / R*pe

I never dreamed of a day in which I’d be in tears over the loss of a United States election. Prior to Donald Trump’s entrance into the political sphere, I was largely uneducated and uninterested in American politics. To be fair, I was about fourteen at the time of his initial inauguration into office, though my age is not an excuse for the level of ignorance I acted in my early teen years. Without intention, I said hurtful things to large groups of people simply because I felt like I could without consequences. I listened to the harmful words spewed by the adults around me and repeated them without any ability to back up what I was saying. All of this is to say that I never thought I would cry over the results of an election. Especially results that have pleased almost everyone I love. 

In 2020, I was sexually assaulted by a boy I believed was my friend. He put his hands down my pants, and regardless of how many times I pushed him away or asked him to stop, he persisted. It wasn’t until he drunkenly passed out that I was finally able to breathe again. It wasn’t until a few days later that I was able to fully process what had happened. I told his girlfriend, who believed him when he blamed me and said I was all over him, and told him that I was his “one free pass.” Anyone else I told was saddened to hear it, but didn’t take it seriously. Or worse, told me the same thing had happened to them. I watched as people I considered to be my closest friends continued to hang out with a man who violated me in that way until I eventually accepted that the only thing that would rid my life of him would be time. That was true. 

In 2021, on the night of my high school graduation, I was raped. Once again, by someone I considered to be my friend. I had gone to a friend's house and after pouring me shots, he guided me to a bedroom, which I consensually went into. I verbalized that I did not want to have sex, and I was ignored. I was repeatedly and painfully penetrated while I asked him to stop. It went on for maybe three minutes before someone knocked on the door to get to the bathroom, but despite the amount of alcohol I had consumed, I will never forget what that felt like. I told some of my closest friends, who were mostly supportive of me. Some however continued to hang out with the boy who had raped me. 

I was unable to talk about these events in my life in any serious manner until recently. A large part of this is the traumatic nature of what happened. The lack of autonomy I’ve felt since. Also, the immediate reaction of my community of peers played a role. I felt like I was asking too much of my friends to stop being friends with someone who violated me the way both of these boys did. However, looking back, I know I wasn’t afraid that I was asking too much. I was afraid that no one would care enough to take any action, and I would be left with no friends. I was afraid that something that had rocked my foundation would also cost me my closest friendships. So I stayed quiet. 

Today, I woke up to find out that a man who was convicted of sexual assault was elected to be the president of our country. A man who was convicted of sexual assault and voted for by a majority of my family and friends. 

Today reaffirmed for me that choosing to speak up on my behalf will cost me my relationships. I’m tired of hearing that it’s not personal who you vote for. When you elect a symbol of the boy that raped me to be the leader of our country, it is entirely personal. When you vote for someone who is proud of overturning the right to safe access to women's healthcare, it is personal. And I am the least of the people who will be affected by the plans Donald Trump spoke of during his time running for president. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen during the next four years. I am hopeful that everything will be okay. I am faithful to a God that contradicts most of Donald Trump’s beliefs and will continue to be regardless of how the next four years play out. 

To my family and friends who are feeling the results in the same way I am, I love you, and I’m sorry this happened.

To my family and friends who voted for Trump, I love you, and I hope you’re willing to own up to the consequences of this election, whatever they may be.